I’m normally a pretty positive person, so you might be surprised to hear that on the weekend I wrote a “pissed off” list.
Quite a few things have been stressing me, and I was tired of the thoughts racing around my head, looking for a way out, like rats in a cage.
So I decided to do what I do best – and put pen to paper.
Wow.
The words spilled out fierce and fast.
I won’t go into too much detail here because some things are best kept private, but just to give you an idea of what showed up on my list …
- Some health challenges, including arthritis pain in my hands and wrists.
- A couple of family issues.
- The financial crunch, which is definitely affecting my business, so it feels like I’m working hard for no extra (in fact less) return.
- Ongoing car problems (long and boring story).
- My weight loss has plateaued.
- Technology not doing what it should.
- Yada, yada, yada.
Me being me, I also found myself adding a note to many of the items about ways I was or could handle or improve things. Can’t stay in the doldrums for too long, it’s just not in my nature!
At the end of last year (a tricky year in many ways, or maybe that’s just life full stop?!) I was feeling so hopeful and positive. I set lots of goals and targets, along with steps to help me achieve them.
Twelve months on, I feel like I’ve gone backwards!
Why even set goals, if this is the result?
I’m tired. Tired of trying. Tired of being positive all the time.
Thankfully the husbear and I have realised that we need a break sooner rather than later, so we will be taking some time off shortly, after deciding that we couldn’t wait for Christmas / the summer holiday break.
After I wrote my pissed off list, I had a good cry.
Okay, I confess, I’ve cried a couple of times over the last few days …
But I get up every morning and keep on keeping on.
Just trying to be kind to myself at the moment.
Luckily the husbear has also been extra sweet and taking good care of me. Proof that I know I’m blessed in many ways – but can still be pissed off sometimes!!!!
How do you handle it when you feel like everything is pissing you off?!
