Memorable Wardrobe Malfunctions

When we went for our first swim of the season recently, I very nearly had a major wardrobe malfunction … luckily the husbear noticed in time!

I’d put on my tankini and was about to walk out the door when the husbear gasped: “I think you’d better take a look at the back of your swimmers in the mirror!”

Turns out, the black fabric has perished and was now virtually see through, exposing my butt crack for all the world to see 😉 .

Whoops!

I ended up going to the beach – and yes, into the water – with an old pair of shorts over my bikini bottoms.

Turned out all my other swimwear were also only fit for the rag bag, mostly because they’d lost their elasticity. I wrote a blog post the last time I splashed out on not one, but two, tankinis (which you can read here) – hard to believe but that was five years ago!

They’ve served me well! Even though we don’t have a pool, my swimmers have endured:

• a summer of aqua aerobics;
• water walking at least once a week last summer;
• and various holidays (Bali in 2017) and beach getaways.

Definitely time for new togs! Luckily Kmart has a gorgeous range at the moment so I might have indulged in a new tankini, rashie, and matching boardies 😉 . Hopefully that will keep me going for a while – maybe even another five years?!

It reminded me of a couple of my more memorable wardrobe malfunctions …

A Wardrobe Malfunction on Stage

What could be more embarrassing than a wardrobe malfunction on stage?!

It was my high school concert, circa 1979, and I was in Year 8.

My friends and I performed a dance item (quite hilarious really – I’ve never been much of a dancer!) in a costume of matching skirts and boob tubes.

At all of 12 years old, I was what some might call a “late bloomer”. Especially in the chest department. I had to beg my mother to buy me a bra even though I had absolutely nothing to put in it, just so that I could be like all my friends. But I digress.

The girl in this photo has a lot more to hold up a boob tube than I did back in the day …

As the song ended we turned to run off the stage and my boob tube, which had miraculously stayed in place despite all our funky dance moves, decided it was done for the night and sank down to my waist. I was exposed to the whole school community – teachers, students, parents – for the most humiliating three seconds of my life.

I thought my life was over.

In truth, apart from enduring a few weeks of ribbing (more than the boob tube had, that’s for sure), the incident was soon forgotten.

Then there was the time not long after the husbear and I got engaged.

We were at a party hosted by my future in-laws, so you can only imagine how mortified I was when my future brother-in-law took great delight in pointing out in front of everyone, that I’d somehow managed to tuck the back of my skirt up into my knickers, on my last trip to the loo! Ooops.

Over 30 years later, once again I am delighted to report that nobody else remembers this incident at all – and as I’m not even a minor celebrity, there is no photographic evidence to haunt me 🙂 .

How about you? Have you had any memorable wardrobe malfunctions?!